2010... What a year it will be!

Inspired by all the recent postings about New Year's Resolutions, I decided to document some goals myself. I don't particularly like New Year's resolutions, they rarely stick. On the other hand, I can see why people always make New Years Resolutions, it's a fresh start.

I want my goals to be obtainable. I also want my goals to enrich the quality of my life. Losing 50 pounds might help me feel better, but will it really help me make my life better? I decided to take a look at a few topics to see what I wanted to do this year:

• Health
• Finances
• Community/ Activity
• Relationships/ Home
  

We are going to have a new baby in the house this year, so I didn't want to get completely crazy with my goals. I can, however, think about the things I know I want to do.

Health
I have a baby due in April and I want to be able to keep up with him! I want to begin preparation for a marathon, I want to run a 5 k, I want to do a sprint triathlon. I set my goal here as mileage because I think this will help me keep better track. This year I will:

1. Run 75 miles
   
2. Bike 150 miles
3. Swim 75 miles

Finances
The hubby and I don't currently own the house we rent, but we would like to. So this year I will:

1. Work with the hubby to save for a down payment on the house

Community/ Activities
I want to be more involved in my community this year. I want to invest my time in things I want to do. This year I will:

1. Head the fourth quarter charity event at work for Children's Miracle Network
2. Start a (casual) yoga practice
   

Relationships/ Home
This is probably one of the most important areas for me. I really would like to have more people to interact with. I want to be a better wife. I definitely want to be a good mother. This year I will:

1. Be a better wifey to my hubby
2. Be a good mom and not scar the kid for life
   
3. Take better care of the chores in my home
   
4. Be more than a Face book friend
   

I don't want to stop looking at my goals for the year. I also don't want to be sad or annoyed if I find myself slipping away from these goals. I want to be happy that I have goals and that I have the opportunity to improve my life. Not everyone gets the chance to set goals or work towards them.

I also must remember that I have to make the choice each day to follow my goals. I need to decide if I want to walk towards the life I want, or if I want to stay where I am. Today, I choose to take my first step towards that life.

The Kid- 19 Weeks

So... At 19 weeks (the week of Thanksgiving) we went for the "Big" ultrasound, the one that tells you the sex of the baby and verifies if everything is 'normal'. I was undecided about whether to have the ultrasound or not, because I don't really see the need to make sure the kid is 'normal'. A lot of what I read said that many people get these ultrasounds and if something seems wrong, they terminate. The hubs and I discussed this and both agreed that termination was not an option, even if something was wrong. However, we were both insanely curious to see the sex of the baby, so we decided to go through with the ultrasound. One of the first pictures we got was the "Thumbs Up". It was the cutest thing to see the kid giving us the okay. I felt a huge relief when I could see the kid moving around, and I must say s/he does not really like the ultrasound. S/he was dodging everywhere!

The next pic that we got was the arm. There was also lots of other pictures in between and measurements and cool things that you could see. The ultrasound tech was very patient and explained what she was taking pictures of the whole time. Even when the kid was dodging her, she just kept moving around.

The next pic that the ultrasound tech gave us was a picture of the feet. So cute and tiny. I was glad to get that picture.

Although the tech spent quite a bit of time with us, she was not able to get a clear picture of all four chambers of the heart, nor was she able to see the lip. Once she had all the pictures she wanted, she gave us a few and then went to discuss with the doctor. We had two docs that came back (I think one was in residency) and they tried to get the last two pictures that they wanted. They were not able to either, the kid was totally being stubborn and would NOT turn over for them! They asked to schedule us for another appointment and we determined we would talk to the midwife about it. We couldn't decide if there was a real need to have a second ultrasound to see those two things.

We also received one more picture that showed the sex, but we decided that we wouldn't tell anyone else until Christmas. It was fun to keep the secret from everyone! All in all, the ultrasound was very interesting and fun to see and we were both glad that we decided to have the ultrasound done.

Next time: the sex of the baby, the decision about a follow up ultrasound, and weeks 20-24!

The Kid- Twelve Weeks

So this is the Kid at twelve weeks. This was the first appointment that the Hubby was able to go to, so our midwife did another ultrasound to check everything out and show us the baby. I have to admit, though, that I had a hard time seeing the baby shape at first. The hubs thought I was crazy because I couldn't see it, but I still maintain that the ultrasound pictures look alien to me! (BTW, the white area you see in front of the kid is not a boy part, it's a leg. Many people were confused about that...)

So at this point, I was feeling pretty lousy. I had all day sickness for a good part of my pregnancy. Mostly it would come at night, right as I was trying to sleep. I also had the dreaded N1H1 virus (AKA Swine Flu) around this time. TWICE. I don't know if it just never went away, or if it came back a second time, but I missed almost three weeks of work. I don't do vaccines, so I never got a flu shot for the standard flu or the swine flu, but it wasn't really that bad for me. I mainly wanted to sleep a lot and eat McDonald's french fries. The nausea was really what was killing me. I couldn't keep much down, but we still don't know if it was the flu or the morning sickness. My midwife prescribed some anit-nausea medication and then I felt great (except for the fact that the meds knocked me out). 

Everything else seemed to go swimmingly for these months. I had a lot of paranoia that something bad would happen with the kid, but the more we move through the pregnancy, the easier it is to handle. Now we are both to the point that we are excited more than nervous!

The Kid- Early Days

I realize the ridiculousness of posting a picture when the kid looks like nothing more than a tadpole, but here it is. (I also can't figure out how to rotate the image, yet, so just pick up your monitor and turn it :)  )

The kid was about 8 weeks gestation when this was taken, so s/he was just a wee one. Although we knew at this point that we were pregnant, I was not comfortable sharing the information in case we lost the baby. My midwife was very considerate of that and my gush of tears when she showed me the heart beating on the ultrasound. I was so happy about it, except when I realized that the blood draw would be next. Ha. 

The hubby wasn't with me at this appointment, but I sent him the picture. He said it looked lke a tadpole, and I have to admit that I agree. Funny, funny stuff. 

At this point in the pregnancy I was feeling ill with the morning sickness and starting to catch a cold. I was also incredibly tired and worn out. It was hard to get up the motivation to go to work each day, but you gotta do what you gotta do. 

I think that I will remember the insecurity about the pregnancy at this phase. I was just so nervous that something would happen to the baby. I still have that nervousness, but it is slowly fading away. As we get closer, I just want to meet the little girl/guy... 

Next: Twelve Weeks

I'm all about the easy...

So this was our dinner. Hash is lovely.

Olive oil in a large skillet. Add cubed potatoes and diced onions. Add ground beef (mmm, bessie...) Cook until everything is done, stirring occasionally. Salt, pepper, and a tiny bit of sugar.

Yum, and totally gluten free.

In other GF news, I will have the tests run next week. Since I feel a lot better already, I think this may be the path that I am heading down...

The Farmer's Market

I went to the Farmer's market today with my hubby and a good friend. It was the first market of the season. We arrived shortly after the opening and the park was packed. It was beautiful.

The vegetables, the (small amounts) of fruit, the craft vendors, the homemade food, and the people were all great. The market was filled with wonderful smells. I began to realize something. Even if I have to live without wheat or gluten, I don't have to feel deprived. Many of the foods that I adore contain no gluten.

Carrots don't have gluten. Neither does onions, bell peppers, lettuce, or milk. The first cherries of the season- that I paid an arm for- don't contain gluten. They were surrounded by much anticipation, but they don't contain gluten!

The hubs and I decided to join a milk delivery service from Winder. We ordered milk (in glass bottles), half and half, and even groceries. With the grocery delivery, the farmer's market, and all the stuff I hope grows in my garden, I should be perfectly fine without wheat.

My booty from the market? Brilliant!

• Cherries (Even if they did cost the earth, it was worth it to have my first cherries of the season).
• Onions from my favorite root guys
• Sugar Snap Peas
• Green Leaf Lettuce
• And the Winder Dairy stuff, which will be delivered next Monday.
  

What's in my fridge?

• Broccoli
• Cauliflower
• Iceberg Lettuce
• Eggs
• and lots of condiments
  

On being positive

I am officially in the positive state of mind. Let me explain. 

I am generally a positive person in my home life, but about six months ago it was getting really hard to be positive at work. Now, don't get me wrong- I like my job. I think it is rewarding, fun, and nurtures my creativity. However, I was really struggling with the daily grind of it all. Our center director calls it 'the whirlwind' because he attended this class and learned about The Four Disciplines of Execution. We had a Management Summit and learned all about the whirlwind and how we can't let it rule our daily lives, because then we will never succeed. Well the whirlwind was kicking my a$$ and I was not feeling like I could keep up. The tediousness of having to track things, and email, and taking time away from my agents to handle the little things. All I wanted to do was tell my agents about goals, current issues, and praise them- because I do think their job is hard. So I did what any slacker would do. I just stopped caring. I did not put in the work that I know I am capable of, I stopped doing what I knew was required of me, and I drowned myself in negativity. The funny thing is that I don't think anyone really noticed except my husband, a single co-worker, and myself. I didn't let my job slip that much. I still got really good reviews from my class and my boss and I was totally being a negative nelly. I complained (quietly) about EVERYTHING. 

One day I realized that I couldn't think about anything good. Every thought I had that day led to something negative. Things like "I have a husband who loves me" led to "I can't stand how my walls are not painted". "I like my job" led to "It really sucks and I am going to get fired".  Sometimes it wasn't even so simple. A thought like "This cream puff is really good" could lead to "If you eat it then you will be fat and then the husband who loves you so much will think you are ugly and then he will not love you anymore and then he will decide one day that he wants a divorce and then you won't ever get to see your dogs anymore because you will have to live in a cheap apartment that won't let you have pets and the husband will want custody of the dogs anyway so you better just pick a fight with him now so that you can get the whole thing over with now". This would be why the husband says that I have an inner dialogue and why he also says that I was being completely nuts-o. 

So later that night I got to thinking about why I was being so nuts. It all led back to negativity. It is a slippery slope. One single negative thought led to all negative thought. So I decided to try this experiment. I think it really helped. I catch myself thinking good things now, instead of negative things. I finally made it to 21 days and I am so very.... content, relaxed, and happy at this moment. Positive thought is all the rage you know ;). I think that I will continue to wear my bracelet, though. Because I now have a new habit, but I also know how easy it is to slip back into the old habits. Anyway, cheers to the good life! Hooray!