The dangers of helping...

I have decided that it is a slightly dangerous thing to offer to help someone with their garden.

I totally agree with the urge to want to protect something that you have worked hard to create. Hell, I once made a chocolate cake and would not let the husband eat it because I wanted to oogle it for a while more (I had to cave eventually and let him eat the damn thing). So I can understand the "Garden of You" is a sacred place, but please don't yell in my ear that the bugs are vital to the environment and your garden. He was crawling on me, and I don't like bugs. What did you think was going to happen?

The next, and possibly the biggest, problem is this: if you offer to help someone by taking some of thier excess bounty off thier hands- you might just get what you wished for.

Example One: The great pruning of the apricot tree...
Grandma is clearing the apricot tree. It just so happens that you have been dying to make the Apricot Torte from the illustrious Molly of Orangette, but have not had time to go buy some apricots. Truth be told, you were wanting to find a tree with free ones so you wouldn't have to. Grandma seems overjoyed to provide you with the requested apricots because she hasn't been able to give them away and she just hates to waste food (you know, the whole Depression Era). But she just somehow doesn't understand that you don't need TWO WHOLE BUCKETS FULL. So, a question for the ages, how do you say no to sweet grandma that was just providing you what you had requested? You don't. (Not to mention you don't like to waste food either). So what do you do with all these apricots? You bake said Torte and borrow a food dehydrator. I made 4 Tortes and a gallon Ziploc full of Apricot Chips. Luckily, I know people who like cake.

Example Two: It's the Great Zuchinni, Charlie Brown...
You mention casually to your grandma and your mom that you need a zuchinni to make bread. BEWARE! You mention you want zuchinni to someone that has more than one plant and you will recieve a bounty of zuchinni. I recieved 9 of them. These were not sweet, wimpy zuchinni's either. These were meaty, two feet long, and about 8 inches around. They were HUGE! I offered some to everyone I knew. I got rid of two. So what to do with 7 huge zuchinnis? Make bread like you planned. You don't like to waste food, remember? So instead of the 3 loaves that you were planning to make, you make 18. Luckily, you know people who like zuchinni bread.

So here is the recipie that is saving me from being buried in zuchinni, because they are still showing up on my porch...

Zuchinni Bread- Makes 3 standard size loafs
A few notes about this bread.

When the recipie says grease and flour the pan, do it. Trust me, I tried butter, not flouring, oil, cooking spray and I always ended up losing bread in the bottom of the pan. The only thing that I know works is crisco. I tried silicone pans and you still need to flour it. Be warned, the loaf edge tends to be a bit darker in a silicone pan. Non stick pans work, but if you don't grease and flour, you lose bread in them too. Just grease and flour every pan, you will be happier.

Second, I shred my zuchinni and then strain it for about 2 hours. You can just squeeze out the extra liquid by hand too. If you don't squeeze it, your bread ends up mushy and wet. If you do strain it, it ends up thick but light. It's worth the bit of effort and fun too!

Last, I make my bread in my lovely Kitchenaid. You can mix it by hand, just do the dry and wet separate. But if you are going to make 18 loaves, you might want to invest in a Kitchenaid. Think of it as a savior for your arms.

3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon cloves
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
3 eggs
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar, packed
1 cup oil
2 cups shredded zuchinni
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup walnuts, chopped

Grease and flour 3 standard loaf pans. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees farenheight.

Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, cloves, nutmeg, salt and cinnamon in a bowl. Use a whisk to fluff and mix evenly.

In the bowl of your mixer mix 3 eggs and both sugars until combined. Add 1 cup oil and mix again. Keep your mixer going and slowly add dry ingredients in, pausing every few seconds to let the dry stuff be incorperated. Once all the flour mixture is in, add one cup of zuchinni. Wait a minute for your mixer to catch up, then add the second cup. Add your vanilla then add your walnuts. Stop your mixer and scrape the bottom to make sure nothing is stuck down there. Start mixing again for about a minute. Stop your mixer then pour your batter into the prepared loaf pans. Make sure that all your loafs are about the same height. Bake in your oven for 1 hour or until a toothpick in the middle comes out clean.

Coming up.... Tomatoes, Tomatoes everywhere and not a chip to dip...